Miss Independent

It some point this morning I think my life became a sitcom. I'm not exactly sure when - but probably around the time that I decided - wouldn't it be fun to take Whitney to a makeup class at her school. Whitney is fiercely independent - that should be laid out first. I also decided that since she is now 20 months - I wasn't going to carry her in the carrier anymore. She is getting so big and my back has been protesting. These two decisions proved magical - black magic that is.

Whitney loves to walk on her own and I let her - as long as she doesn't get to close to the edge of the sidewalk and holds my hand when we cross the street. Usually she is pretty good about this - maybe there is an episode of sitting on the road while I insist on holding her hand. But she gets over it and once she is tired either I carried her or she got in the stroller. She fusses over that too, but usually once I get a buckle done she relents.

Today Whitney didn't know I was no longer going to carry her to class. It is about a mile walk - so longer than she can manage at the moment. She made it to the end of the block before she started with the "up, up, up". I explained she was a big girl now and I couldn't carry her anymore. I then tried to put her in the stroller. Whitney exploded - this was not at all how she wanted things to go. At this point I probably should have turned around and went home - like my mom suggested - it wasn't even our regular class. But I am stubborn too so I struggled with her to get her into the seat. Two elderly ladies took pity on me and helped me muscle Whitney into the stroller with her yelling and screaming the whole time. Not my best moment. Then I noticed a bus coming - of course. After all the struggling we were so late at this point I needed to take the bus to get there. In order to take the bus I needed to take her out of the stroller and fold it up. Score 1 for Whitney. Although you wouldn't know it - she was so wound up she struggled against me the whole bus ride. And I couldn't get the stroller to fold all the way - another Mom stopped to help me. So - the score so far - Whitney 1, Me 0, and 3 people have come to help me. I think that means I am at negative 3. I also think it means I live in an awesome neighborhood.

After the bus Whitney still wanted to be carried. I refused and she followed me down the last long block to class, whimpering the whole way. But we made it - and only 2 min late. Score 1 for me.

At the end of class - Whitney again would not get into the stroller. Unwilling to muscle her in in a room full of parents, I let her walk. I needed her to walk anyway, I told myself - need to get her tired so she will take an early nap. It was a scheduling thing. So, we walked. She did ok at first - but there was a lot of trash on the sidewalk and she wanted to pick it up. All of it. I did let her pick up a few things and put it in the trash can - who am I to argue against cleaning up?? The trouble didn't really start until we hit our first intersection. I tried to get her to hold my hand and she went into full tantrum mode - literally lying in the street screaming at the top of her lungs. Since it was just after class, I was surrounded by a group of parents with their kids. Lovely. They tried offering her some encouragement and one of the Dads took the stroller from me so I could drag her kicking and screaming across the road. Once we were across the street she decided to see how close she could get to the street before I freaked. One of the other Moms freaked first and crossed right in front of me to gather Whitney up and bring her back. Sigh. That particular game of chicken is probably not one we should be playing. Whitney 2, Me 1 and 2 more people have helped bringing this morning's total to 5.

Finally the group of parents moved on and Whitney was walking nicely again. She still wouldn't get into the stroller. After another block she got tired and sat down on the front step of a hair salon. At this point I was exhausted too so I let her sit there for a minute. The owner came out and was very nice - gave Whitney all kinds of compliments and finished off with giving her a cookie. So after all that Whitney gets a reward. I thought I about keeping it back from her and giving it to her later - but it was making her docile too and she actually let me buckle her in the stroller.

For sure the winner of the day was Whitney with 3 points. In all - 6 people came out to help me in some way. I know I am not a bad Mom - but this morning was enough to question my sanity.

On a positive note - I have found the secret to the successful play date. Lots of notice, lots of reminders and baked goods. :) Whitney and I have had two very successful play dates since that first one and people are already signed up for the next. So, a little ray of sunshine in a cloudy post.

Obsessions

It's official. Whitney is obsessed with cleaning between her toes. Her babysitter showed her how one day - I guess because she thought it was cute. Now Whit insists on cleaning between her toes on a regular basis. She won't put on her PJs until she is sure she checked each and every toe. I thought this was cute too - until she started checking between her toes at the dinner table. Not so much with the cuteness. Now we have daily battles about putting our feet on the table. Sigh... can't wait until she does it in front of my mother in law - cause you know that's gonna happen. :)

Yoga

Recently I started, for the first time, practicing yoga. I had tried one class in the past and dabbled with a DVD when I was pregnant before. But this is the first time I've taken classes. I'm sure prenatal yoga is very different in many ways from "regular" yoga, but the concepts seem to remain the same.

A friend pointed this recent article in the New York Times out to me after discussing the merits of yoga:

How Yoga Can Wreck Your Body

At first I was a bit amazed. But then it wasn't so surprising. Push anything to the limit and it can be dangerous -- even yoga. I saw this as more of a commentary on American, competitive, consumerist yoga. Especially after hearing over and over again in the class I'm taking to never do anything that hurts in any way or stay in any pose past fatigue.

Anyone out there have opinions for/against? Maybe we should all be doing yoga like pregnant ladies.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

What's in a name?

Sometimes I am surprised my kid knows her own name. We call her by so many nicknames its astonishing she responds. Of course we do the standard shortening of her name - Whit or Whit whit if I am being cute. But also Squish, Smooch, Mugwhup, Baby doll, Hun, Sweets, Babe, Cutie, Sweetheart, and Munch (short for Munchkin - cause obviously Munchkin is too long) - just to name a few. I suppose since she is the only little person in the house - she figures no matter what we call her we must be talking to her. What are some of your favorite nicknames?

Play Date Fail

First, an update. It turns out the missing ingredient in Whitney's diet was ... sugar. I know, right? We also cut out freeze dried fruits and most of the rice cracker/puff stuff - but not all. And I am not convinced the rice stuff contributed to her problem. Juice though, seems to be the ticket. As soon as we added a little bit of juice and the occasional karo syrup in her milk then viola! Whitney was all systems go again. So nice to have a happy kid - now we just need to deal with the teething and the tantrums and and and.... :)

Ok, play dates. Well, hold on, let me back up. Very very few of my friends have children. In fact, most of my friends are single and childless. My work colleagues - and fellow stage managers especially - seem to put off having children until much later in life. A lot of moms in my field don't become moms until late thirties, early forties. I personally didn't want to wait that long. The moms I do know are either far away or their children are not remotely close to Whitney's age. All of this makes me pretty isolated.

I want Whitney to have friends and interact with kids her own age. I also want to have a friend or two that I can hang out with - and since we haven't started daycare or anything like that yet - I joined a Mom group in my area. So far this has been pretty ok. I have met some really nice people and found out about local stuff I never would have known about otherwise. But, I can't say that I have made any friends. I was close a couple times, but each time now they have moved away. NYC can be tough on a young family.

I decided I needed to be more proactive and host events at my house. Since it is winter and we can't go to the playground - at least not for long. Well, today was the first such play date. I had 5 RSVPs - which was great! Especially since the announcement didn't go out until 2 days ago. One problem - no one showed up. A couple people didn't even bother to cancel. Whitney and I were left with the house all set up and no kids to play with. That - sucked. Not that Whitney cared, but me - well, I guess some memories from childhood are making this worse than it is.

I am not going to let this get me down though. The notice was a little short for this one and stuff comes up when you have a wee one. So, Whit and I are going to keep trying. After all, I need to get my money's worth out of the 6 x 6 play mat we have had sitting in the closet. Who knows, maybe next time will be better.

Is this irony?

I've been mentally composing posts for this blog for months, but never had time to write. Then, a week before Christmas, I got laid off. So now I have all the time in the world to write. Except, wait a sec.  This is supposed to be a blog about being a working Mom.  But I only have time to write if I'm unemployed.

Headdesk.

The job I lost was supposed to be my panacea - one that allowed me the flexibility to work from home, that didn't have insane hours, and that paid a hell of a lot more than my previous one.  Granted, I put up with a lot of shit to get those perks, but it was worth it. So now I'm job hunting, and interviewing for positions like my old one I had before - advertising agency with tight deadlines and long hours and a lousy commute. 

And even if I "only" work until 6 every night, I'll end up spending barely an hour with my kid before he goes to bed. We'll arrive home in time for me to plop him into his high chair for dinner, then immediately whisk him into the tub, followed by a few stories and bed. The morning will be just as hectic, if not worse.  And weekends will return to the way they were - time for the cleaning and chores and grocery shopping that couldn't get done during the week.  It sucks and I'm absolutely heartbroken that this is the way it will be.

Battles with digestion

My daughter has been fighting a losing battle with regularity. Frankly, at this point I am at my wits end. We have followed the advice of the doctors and friends and the internet. Still we seem trapped in a cycle of constipation. I feel so bad for her and I can't help feeling responsible for her problems. Our doctor tells us it is most definitely her diet - but she eats fruit and veggies and wholesome stuff. We have tried to stay away from tricky fruits like bananas and we took all freeze dried fruits out. We have even tried some of the wackier things from the internet - Karo syrup in her milk, snacks of fig newtons, pear purees, boiled prune water... still, the cycle continues. We try to eat food made from scratch (fig newtons being an exception). So, I am at a loss. My husband wants to go to a new doctor and get a second opinion. I just want her to feel better. Anybody got new advice?